Single Parent Savings

As a single mother, I have found some VERY CREATIVE ways to save money without giving up cultural experiences and opportunities for my kids as well as myself.  Of course, we have navigated some extremely hard times - the electricity turned off in the middle of a desert summer, loss of television and computer access, water, and gas in the tank en route to school.  The kids and I have learned to take all of this in stride - even with a sense of humor.  Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine. So with lights out, we play flashlight tag, I always keep a cooler filled with five gallons of water and we can all find something creative and constructive to do without the television and computer to distract us.  (These have been some of the most cherished moments of all!)

Learning to manage a household on very little income (I am a teacher in Arizona - the 49th state in the Union with respect to funds spent on education), was a true challenge for me in the beginning.  First of all, I am horrible at managing finances.  Secondly, this was new and uncharted territory for me.  Lastly, I resented the sheer fact that my ex was conveniently unemployed, yet living in the heart of Manhattan with his girlfriend and enjoying vacations, dinners and very conspicuously leaving behind the receipts and menus for my eyes to see ~ all while dragging me through court time and time again. $$$$$$$  I drank too much, bitched too much and was all consumed with things that were out of my control and meant to hurt not just me, but the kids as well.

It took awhile to get out of that cycle.  I'd be lying if I professed otherwise.  I was, as Shakespeare labeled, a woman scorned. 

There came a day a few years back when I looked in the mirror and asked myself out loud, "Is this the story you want to write?"  Of couse, the answer was a loud and definitive "No!"

On that day I made a promise to change.  I gave up the fight and began working on rebuilding a bigger and better life for my family.  I decided right then to embrace the cards I was dealt and do something wonderful with them.  This blog was one of those things - as well as starting a single parents group, volunteering, heading back to school and working on me so I would be a better mother to my children.  I had to lose some relationships in order for this to happen as good people can keep you in  a very bad place and that was sad....but worth it in the end.

We've all read the benefits of coupon clipping and yes, I am an avid clipper, but there are bigger and better ways to work within a budget and you would be surprised at what you will find if you take the time to look.  Just today, I was handed 4 free kids meals at a lovely, homey Italian/Pizza restaurant because I simply walked in and asked to see the menu with my kids in tow.  Tonight we ate out - veggies and all - for less than it would cost for me to cook at home.
Some suggestions:
1) If eating out, always go during happy hour.  The prices are cut in half for both food and drink.
2) Find places that offer free kids meals - some of our favorite local haunts offer free meals - 2 per adult - on certain days of the week.  Once they get to know you, they are usually tolerant of others.
3) Ask if they can cut portions in half or split portions - I have yet to meet a restaurant that will not accomodate this request when they see me alone with four kids.  It's worth asking - all they can say is "no."
4) Frequent the same stores often.  When people know your family they are kind.  I have had loads of groceries "loaned" to me when needed.  We bake them cookies and the kids write thank-yous - as do I - for getting us through difficult times.  THe lady in Costco GAVE US her free Thanksgiving turkey this year......a real blessing.
5) Check out your local library.  Ours not only has books, music and DVD's, but also Culture Passes - I can check out 2 passes to various museums, zoos and events per month which cover admission for four - a life saver!
6) Look for dress rehearsal and opening night performances.......I have never paid more than $12 per ticket for Disney on Ice, Ringling Brothers, and various other performances.  While Wednesday night might not be the most convenient time to bring the kids out - the experience is worth it.
7) Write lots of letters and put your pride on a shelf......this is hard, I know, but so worth it.  You can get subscribtions, opportunities and wonderful experiences if you simply ask.  We received 5 tickets to Wet n' Wild this summer because of a bad experience that I addressed.  In Disney, we were granted an extention of our annual pass because I asked. 
8) When your ex offers to take the kids shopping for a gift, have them suggest a gift card to the supermarket, the movies or any other place you know you will have to spend money.  Then, tuck it away for a rainy day!
9) Look for scholarships......Look hard.  I sent two kids to a wonderful sleep away camp for the price of one because I asked.  They rode horses, swam,  paddled boats and made friends that they are still in contact with.
10) PLAN YOUR MENU around the sales in the stores - and hit 2 or three if you have to.  You can now download coupons onto your shoppers card so there is no need to clip and save.  Plan nutricious meals around the circular and the coupons you have......you'll save hundreds of dollars.
11) Buy the soda on sale - even if not your favorite.  I am a diehard DIET COKE fan, but if it's Pepsi on sale, it's Pepsi I drink.  Seltzer is much cheeper and can be flavored.    I know....I know.....

Most importantly, do something for yourself every single week.  A walk? A nap? A pedicure?  All these savings make these things possible.  I used to feel guilty for such indulgences - I don't anymore.  Dragging yourself down benefits no one - least of all, YOU!  This is very hard when the kids are young, I know.......I began this journey when my kids were ages 8 to 2.  If you can't do it now, just know there is light at the end of the tunnel and the effort you put in now will be so very worth it later.